Sting once shared that when he first became interested in music as a boy, an older classmate handed him a Thelonious Monk album and told him to listen to it that night-knowing he probably wouldn’t like it. Then he was told to listen again the next night, and the night after that. “By the third or fourth listen,” the classmate explained, “you’ll start hearing things you’ve never heard before.”
Thelonious Monk’s improvisational jazz style wasn’t immediately easy to appreciate. But with repeated listening came deeper understanding, nuance, and insight. That insight taught Sting to, “…be open to difficult harmony.”
…with repeated listening came deeper understanding, nuance, and insight.
The discipline to be open to difficult harmony, feedback, and perspectives is exactly what sets the effective leaders I work with apart from those who are less effective. Why? Often, the people leaders most need to hear are the very ones they’re inclined to tune out. Their personalities don’t mesh. Their communication styles are diametrically opposed, or there’s just something about the other person that bugs them. Let’s be honest, it’s easier and more comfortable to tune out the whiny team members. It’s easier to tune out the persistently negative manager, and it’s much easier to tune out the advisor who points out where you need to grow next. It’s easier to tune out what we don’t want to hear because then we don’t have to change how we think or act. And that allows us to stay exactly the same…and not grow.
It’s easier to tune out what we don’t want to hear because then we don’t have to change how we think or act. And that allows us to stay exactly the same…and not grow.
In order to grow we need to learn new things. That’s why I am intentionally describing the skill of being open to “difficult team harmony” as a discipline, because that’s what it is. It’s not a skill many leaders just have. Rather, it’s a skill that is intentionally practiced and developed, through disciplined focus and repetition. It’s hard. It’s painful and it’s not enjoyable.
…being open to “difficult team harmony” …is a skill that is intentionally practiced and developed, through disciplined focus and repetition. It’s hard. It’s painful and it’s not enjoyable.
I have yet to hear a client say, “I can’t wait for my next meeting with Tasha so I can struggle through her weird logic to potentially find a nugget of information that will help us.” Very few people enjoy conflict and interacting with challenging people. However, those leaders that do understand the power of working through “difficult harmony” understand that the disparate perspectives, areas of expertise, and experiences of those we surround ourselves with, often hold the missing pieces needed to make better, more informed decisions. The desire to learn and grow outweigh the fear of a bit of discomfort. The power of new insights outweigh the discomfort of initially not understanding or appreciating what we hadn’t known before.
What could happen if you were open to difficult team harmony? How would your team be different if everyone listened harder with the intent of learning and growing?
Copyright MMXXVI – Liz Weber, CMC, CSP – Weber Business Services, LLC – www.WBSLLC.com +1.717.597.8890 Liz Weber is an advisor to boards of directors, business owners, and C-Suite leaders. She’s a leadership, strategic and succession planning consultant, keynote speaker, and author. Learn more on LinkedIn.
